Sumit's Inkwell

As I near my 35^th birthday, I’m reminded that being in your 30s is vastly different from previous generations. Looking back at old pictures of our parents we notice they look much older and more mature than people in their 30s today.

With the advancement of technology and medicine we’re living longer, healthier, and more mindful lives. Yet, this decade also brings its own set of challenges with everything that is going on in our world today.

As we transition from the freedom of our school years to the realities of the working world, we’re met with a harsh new environment that can be jarring. We take notice in ingrained patterns, and workplace dynamics which over the years can take a toll on your mental health.

 We observe change in people’s behaviors, which greatly differs from the adults we’ve known throughout our school years.

Adults behave a lot differently when they have to put food on the table, and you are viewed as competition.

Many people carry a naiveté throughout their adult years. This pattern is typically learned from the idealistic worldviews taught from our teachers and parents in our younger years.

I’ve made numerous mistakes in various areas of my life, not just career. I would argue with others, trying to correct them and reason them into agreement. I also put so much pressure on myself to have everything figured out by a certain age, though I wasn’t even sure what that meant. Sometimes my enthusiasm would lead me to overshare my plans and ideas, only to have them shredded to pieces.

 I found myself becoming the very thing I criticized in others.

I could go on filling a book with the lessons I’ve accumulated this far, yet 3 three sound out as transformative in my journey, and I’d like to share them with you.

Lesson 1: Let People Be.

We’ve all encountered individuals who drive us insane – the coworker who slams the office doors, the friend who constantly makes every conversation about themselves, or the slow driver who refuses to move over on the freeway. It’s tempting to try to correct their behaviors, but I’ve learned that’s a complete waste of your time and energy

You see, people operate within their own reality, often unaware of the impact they have on others around them. The door slammer closes every door that way, the self-centered friend might be trying to relate in their own way, the slow driver is driving safely. All operating in their own little world of what is right and wrong.

Next time you’re dealing with someone who is irritating you, remember they may not be aware of themselves, but you are. Let them be. Don’t waste your energy trying to change them, focus on your own growth.

Lesson 2: You Probably Don’t Have It Figured Out (And That’s Okay)

Growing up, we’re conditioned to believe that adulthood means having all the answers. As children we do our best to model ourselves after the opinions of our parents and teachers, handing them over our minds to mold. As we transition into adulthood, we quickly discover that the theories and models learned in school don’t always translate in the real-world realities.

If you’re feeling lost or uncertain about your career, relationships, finances, or whatever, relax! You’re not alone. People think being in your 30s is old, and that you should have your life completely figured out by now, if you don’t you’re somehow a lesser person. The aspirations and goals that drove you in your 20s might no longer align with who you are today, making your 30s a perfect time of rediscovery.

It is okay not to have all the answers at this point, allow yourself to continue in learning and exploring. Your 30s are not a destination, no age number is, our destination is our inevitable end. So release this societal pressure to have it all figured out, and remember you are not alone!

Lesson 3: Be Cautious of Whom Who Converse With

We’ve all had those conversations where we excitedly share our ideas with our friends, family or co-workers only to have them torn apart and shat all over. Doing nothing but planting seeds of doubt in your mind.

Remember that people often base their opinions through their own set of experiences and biases. Because let’s just be honest, many people we know do not have a whole lot going for them. Life has dragged them through the mud, and the only experience life has offered thus far has been one of failure, and regrets. So why would this person want to you see succeed?

Not everyone has your best interests at heart. Some might intentionally or unintentionally drag you down to their level of thinking. Be cautious of who you share your aspirations with.

In Conclusion

As I look back on these past 34 years on Earth I realize the most valuable lessons are not about chasing perfection, but about embracing the imperfect. Life is both a beautiful and messy journey. By letting people be themselves, embracing uncertainty, and being mindful of the company we keep, we can navigate this portion of our lives with greater ease.

May these lessons be a reminder that you not alone in your struggles or even triumphs. May you continue to grow, learn, and unfold into the best version of yourself.

• Sumit Randhawa